I recently found the below journal entry and was struck by how relevant and necessary the idea of parenting yoga - balancing the masculine and feminine principles within - is for me still today, increasingly so with each passing day, in fact, as Rowen continues to explore the edges of his development. Here is what I wrote when Rowen was about 5 months old:
Rowen and I were laying on the bed today playing. He rolled over once he tired of the book we were looking at and busied himself with a toy, but one arm remained pinned beneath his chest. I knew he was capable of getting his arm out and so I watched and waited to see how he would handle it. Soon enough he grew frustrated as he squirmed trying to release his trapped hand. His grunts and talking became more strained while I continued to sit back, watching attentively.
It can be incredibly difficult to listen to his cries of frustration as every fiber of my being wants to sweep in and hold him close. I have recently had plenty of time to explore this feeling as we watch his physicality unfurl at this five month mark. He is rolling from back to belly with ease and has a strong desire to crawl, which he struggles to master any chance he gets. All this to say there are many cries of frustration in our life right now, and I am present for them all, standing by to assist and guide if needed.
So as we lay there, the cries escalating, I noticed a new power within me. A masculine presence I had not felt in months. Since the late stages of my pregnancy, the fullness of a soft, round, nurturing, and accepting feminine strength had overtaken me, reaching a pinnacle while giving birth, and I had rested in this sense of the Goddess ever sense. I was established in my feminine prowess and maternal seat, caring for Rowen with a deep, round, grounded, and tender love that was Her.
I had fully steeped myself in this feminine strength until this point, but now I felt a resurgence of the steady, direct, and guiding hand of the masculine because it was now necessary for me to hold confidence, protection, and strength as he began to explore the edges of what he was capable of.
I felt so clearly in this moment the archetypal Mother and Father alive in my heart simultaneously. The two forces within felt united in the same solidarity as Matthew and I embody outwardly. I have access to both qualities, the polarity of strengths are accessible to wield depending on what the moment presents and requires. With the "Mother" and "Father" together I hold both a tender and warm unconditional love while simultaneously guiding with strength and a clear vision of the long term gains of embracing the difficulty in the moment. The Sacred Mother and Divine Protector in tandem, this is the yoga of parenting.